Tag Archives: The Internet Garage

Scary-unbelievable [FOUND at the Internet Garage]

With the advent of Internet technologies supporting online methods of communication, I think it is safe to say that fax machines are becoming outdated, if they aren’t already completely obsolete. But still, certain archaic agencies require transmission through fax only – mostly insurance and government. That’s why I was baffled to find this item in the fax tray:

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For your convenience, I will transcribe the text below:

Some comments made to me by different individuals of all ages and both genders from around the world after they have seen me dancing (Manhattan between the hours of 11:00 PM and 4:00 AM) “Michael you give us hope for an enjoyable life at your age” “We want to be like you” “You are my idol” “I want to be your friend” “You are amazing” “I am honored to meet you and shake your hand” (An Asian bank executive bowing low). From an expensively dressed matron “You are awesome”. A young beautiful wife celebrating her 40th birthday crying happy tears “You did something for me tonight that changed my life-refused to let go of my hand and danced with me the rest of the evening not with her husband. “Michael, your eyes are scary-unbelievable” All of the above were on separate occasions.

[sic]…. obviously.

While Michael sounds like quite the individual, who must he fax these descriptions to? I can’t imagine that being a requirement of an insurance company OR the government. Why instead would he not just find the recipient and dance before them or record a YouTube video? What does Michael hope to gain by communicating such comments about his awesome nature? Job application? This would certainly get my attention if I were hiring and this was submitted as a cover letter. What would the position be? Dancer? Life coach?

So many questions, but I guess we’ll never know…

FOUND at the Internet Garage [new blog series!]

As an expert in blogs, I can tell you that one key to having a successful blog is to incorporate a “series” type post that the author can reliably put out and that readers will look forward to seeing on a consistent basis. To name a few, there’s Weird Science on Neurotopia, Friday Fermentable on Terra Sigillata, and Sprog Blogging on Adventures in Ethics and Science. It’s like the Web 2.0 Web 3.0 or Web 2010 or just Web <<wink>> version of the Sunday funnies or the Science Times.

And so is born, the FOUND at the Internet Garage series. My inspiration for this series is two-fold: 1) To commemorate the magnificent FOUND MAGAZINE, the brain child of Davy Rothbart who runs the operation out of Ann Arbor, Michigan, the city in which my fondest memories were made, and 2) To put my massive collection of random amusing crap found at the Internet Garage to good use. And there is a LOT of it — you wouldn’t imagine the shit people lost in there on my watch, which was usually intently focused on my computer screen. Every night closing up there, I would pick up items left behind on counter tops, in the scanner, in the printer tray, and (most unfortunately) in the computers. I’ve probably encountered 50 abandoned USB flash drives in my time there.

But perhaps the thing that has most compelled me to collect pieces of other people’s lives was the event that led to my employment at the Internet Garage. I went in one summer day to scan my passport and social security card to apply at a temp agency and left them in the scanner. It’s a good thing I couldn’t bring myself to stuff envelopes for a living and forfeited the $18/hr wage at the stock holding company to work at the IG for $8/hr instead. Because it wasn’t until a month after I had been working there that I found my identification items, which I had given up hope of ever finding, shoved in The Drawer of Random Crap. Why is it always the most important things that I am most likely to lose?

So, for the first installation, I present you with this sign, which was made by a member of the IG staff in response to one of the greatest finds of all: A ranting 3-page complaint about me from a woman after she stole $30 in color prints from me and threatened my life. You can bet you’ll encounter that as part of this series in the future. Enjoy!

jesus_IG_wallofshameIf you would like to submit something to the FOUND series, please email it to justarikia@gmail.com. I don’t hyperlink email addresses because I hate it when mail programs like Outlook accidentally open.

Are you good at math? [Ask the IG staff!]

At the Internet Garage today I was showing my old manager a very interesting science-related online journal. He’s in a punk band, science isn’t really his thing, but he has always enjoyed musing about my intellectual prowess, so he started guessing what was next in line for me in my career path. ScienceBlogs to MathBlogs (?) perhaps.

B: Do you do math good?

Me: I do it well.

B: Really? Cross your arms.

Me: <<tentatively crosses arms and makes tough face>>

B: Yeah, see, you’re a left-side brain. Your left arm is in front. That means you’re good at math. See look at me. <<Crosses arms with right arm in front>> I suck at it.

Scientists, (Yeah you, Dan MacArthur) forget genetics. The arm-crossing test is clearly the way to predict the career paths of children.

Homer Simpson demonstrates the proof of this methodology.

Homer Simpson demonstrates the proof of this methodology.