Tag Archives: new years resolutions

The Three Faces of Arikia

Promotional photo from the 1957 classic The Three Faces of Eve, a movie about a woman with Multiple Personality Disorder, which I don't have but it feels like sometimes.

Promotional photo from the 1957 classic The Three Faces of Eve, a movie about a woman with Multiple Personality Disorder, which I probably don’t have but it feels like sometimes.

It’s Jan 1st and time to create new resolutions to break. Though this one I’ve been looking for an excuse to implement for a while: To blog every day. It is called The Millikan DAILY, after all, not the Millikan Every Three Weekly (although that was the original title).

I’ve spent far too much time over the past few years beating myself up about being a writer who doesn’t write. But looking back, I’ve been unjustifiably unkind to myself, about that and lots of other things, which I’ve also resolved to address this year. The truth is, I do write every day. Writing is the thing that I do more than anything on a consistent basis. But I compulsively hide it, for a reason that is too complex for a post that needs to be submitted in half an hour so that I don’t break my New Year’s Resolution on the very first day of the new year, as I tend to do.

I’m aware that I am a neurotic creature. Being drawn both toward writing and away from it has resulted in a funny online landscape for me. Lots of my daily writing is in the form of emails, chats, and status updates across varying social media; for some who are special to me (or who pay me to do this), I like to think of myself as their personal blog—as I’ll field information relevant to their interests and deliver it to them with context. But there are also two pseudonyms I become from time to time, one of whom a few of my friends are aware of via the blog she used to author back in 2008/2009 and the woman who comes out every now and then when I’m drunk at a bar and a stranger asks me what my name is. The other one is a secret. Sure, go ahead and laugh, but if you think someone with an epically searchable name and an epically insane mother hasn’t figured out how to write in secret in all of her 26 years, the joke’s on you.

All this has resulted in 7 WordPress blogs, 10 Tumblrs, 21 Twitter accounts (all with corresponding email addresses), and a case of spreading myself too thin. I’m tired of being neurotic. It’s time to integrate, and write, and learn. Happy New Year.

The placemats at Chinese restaurants claim this is my year

The year of the Tiger. I don’t really buy that stuff but it never hurts to have people tell you that you should succeed, even if it is based on some mystical or arbitrary reasoning.

New year’s eve I was ordering a drink at a bar, and this cute nerdy guy came up and stood next to me. I could tell he wanted to talk to me but didn’t have the nerve, so I smiled at him and asked if he had any resolutions. He said he didn’t, and asked what mine were.

“Well, I haven’t decided yet. It’s either to be less crazy, or to be completely unapologetic about my insanity.”

“I like the later option,” he said. And then we were friends.

After day 1 in 2010, that’s the only resolution I’ve managed to keep. The others (drink less, be less crazy and have more sex) I realized I broke in record time when I woke up on New Years Day hung over with a hot Turkish man in my bed who, when he tried to cuddle me, I kicked out so I could meet my friend for bloody Marys at the Lodge. One fell swoop.

So here’s to a year of unapologetic insanity. May it lead to my success and not my demise.