…Then a friend put an arm around me. I found my way to some edge, thin as a thread, where the panic turned into laughter.
This is the diamond in the mind, this ability. A lot of people know about it, but I didn’t know about it.
From then on when panic crept in I could just push over the thread-thin edge to the other side, feeling the way to joy.
Joy is the knowledge that the thread is there.
A thread runs through the middle of your life, and if you find it, the second half can be comedy instead.
A place can make you want to die and then you can turn it over into the sweetest thing. You can do this yourself, if you have found the diamond in your mind.
Addiction is sometimes the attempt to raise the dead by returning to the scene. If you can’t yet abandon the dead, at least you can practice abandonment, and will perhaps in that way be on your way to finding the world.
-Excerpt from How to Quit, by Kristin Dombeck, n+1
I’m still learning how to find that thread. I saw it once, but I don’t know where I was when I saw it and I don’t know how to get back there from the place where I’ll be when I need to find it again.